My favorite take on mentorship is from Audrey MacLean, a founder, investor and consulting associate professor at Stanford University School of Engineering. When asked for advice, she responds, “I don’t necessarily want to dole out advice but I’m happy to share some used wisdom.” Eight women from the 40 Women to Watch Over 40 list, who are chosen for both the way they are disrupting industries and creating new models of mentorship, share their used wisdom.
Be honest.
Wendy Sachs: Emmy award-winning network television producer, author and speaker
Mentor: Soraya Gage: Executive at NBC Universal
“There was nothing intentional or forced about the relationship.”
When Sachs was an associate producer at Dateline NBC she worked on a few stories with Soraya Gage, who was seven or eight years her senior. As a senior producer with two small children and a long commute, Gage negotiated a part time schedule, which was revolutionary in the late 90s/early 2000s.”
Gage showed Sachs that you can make kids and career work, but it was her transparency that made it stick. “She was honest about the stress of work life, said Sachs. “Particularly in a deadline-driven business like news where we would be crashing stories on a moment's notice.” One piece of advice that Sachs ended up taking was to have her kids close together. "At first I thought, I can't believe Soraya told me to have them so close,” recalled Sachs. “But as they got older and could play together so I could sleep an extra hour on the weekends, I realized that it did pay off.”
Ultimately, Gage taught Sachs that she could bring her entire self to work. “I could emote, and be a mother and a professional simultaneously,” she said. “And when the job is not working out, you can make a change.”
Use your voice.
Debora Balardini: Theater performer, director and coach and entrepreneur
Mentor: Enrique Pardo: Developer Choreographic Theater
“He taught me how to find my own voice and to help others do so as well.”
About 20 years into her career, Balardini lost her career motivation. Then she took a workshop with Enrique Pardo at the LaMama theatre in downtown Manhattan where he was known for incorporating different approaches to movement and dance (including mythology, cultural studies, voice and text). His insatiable curiosity and passion for the arts restored her own. Pardo showed Balardini what is it to be an artist beyond the stage.
Through new eyes, Balardini can see that everything in life is connected, from entrepreneurship to the arts. “It taught me how to live as an artist. I bring the choreographic theatre concepts he taught me to just about everything I do now, from planning events to playing with my son and, of course, every theatre production.” While his practice doesn’t follow a specific set of rules, it does ask her to have a point of view and express it through speech, movement, a song, a text or utter silence, something women have fought hard to restore.
Find strength in commonalities.
Lashinda Stair: 1st Assistant Chief of Police in the Detroit Police Department
Mentee: Stacy Cavin: Lieutenant- Detroit Police Department
“Some of the greatest gifts that we receive in life are the successes of those we have guided.”
Lashinda Stair met Stacy Cavin, a police officer at the time, when she was struggling with mistreatment and concerned about perceptions and judgment. “I listened beyond her words and saw an opportunity to guide her through her convictions and lift her spirit to rise above the obstacles she faced,” said Stair. In those moments a bond was formed.
Stair thought seeing Cavin establish herself and become a lieutenant was the gift of mentorship, but then she realized the true value was what she got back. “I thought that I was giving strength and sharing knowledge with a young woman to support her; but, I also received knowledge and strength in return.” For Stair, the relationship reaffirmed that people are more alike than different.
Do your math.
Allison Stanger, Russell Leng Professor of International Politics and Economics at Middlebury College, Vermont.
Mentor: Professor Stacey of Elmhurst College
“Study as much math as possible, so no one will be able to mess with you."
A professor changed Allison Stanger’s life when she encouraged her to be a mathematics major. Stanger had never thought of herself as having an aptitude for mathematics. No previous teacher had ever praised her math performance, despite the fact that she got perfect scores on every exam. “I thought that in math there were right answers and everybody just worked until they solved the problem properly, just like I did,” recalled Stanger. “Before Professor Stacey pulled me aside, it had never dawned on me that some people might have the wrong answer and think they had the right one.”
Surprised at the professor’s recommendation to study mathematics, Stanger asked her what she could do with a math major. Stanger remembers her answer to this day and has repeated to many girls and women since: “If you are a woman who is good at math, you can do anything.”
Get real.
Beverly Keel, Chair, Department of Recording Industry, Middle Tennessee State University
Mentor: Ruth Ann Harnisch, Founder & President of The Harnisch Foundation; Executive Film Producer
“Knowing someone is in your corner for selfless reasons is powerful.” – Beverly Keel
Beverly Keel met her mentor at her father’s funeral. Ruth Ann Harnisch was the first female news anchor in Nashville and wrote a newspaper column at the Nashville Banner where Keel’s father was her editor. “She took me under her wing when I was a senior in high school and has guided me ever since. She’s my in-person guardian angel,” said Keel.
Keel credits Harnisch with teaching her the antithesis of the message that is typically sent to women in media -- that it’s okay to not have it all together all of the time. “While I present a happy and ‘together’ face to everyone else, I can tell her what is really going on,” says Keel. “She calls me on my stuff and makes calls on my behalf.”
As the relationship has evolved over the decades, so have the topics they've discussed; from career and personal decisions in Keel’s 20s and 30s to time management and activism in her 50s. Harnisch is a active advocate for women and producer for projects like "The Hunting Ground," which explores sexual assault on college campuses.) The pair increasingly focus on the question, “How do we make the most powerful impact with the hours we have?”
Trust as if.
Ruby Zefo: Vice President, Law & Policy Group; Chief Privacy & Security Counsel at Intel Corporation
Mentor: Sol Kau, supervisor at GTE (at the time of the mentorship story)
“The confidence he showed in me allowed me to have a lot of confidence in myself, and it turned into a virtuous cycle.”
At her first job (at GTE HQ) Ruby Zefo was sent on an urgent six-month assignment to help launch cellular telephony on Oahu, Hawaii. It was an extraordinary responsibility for a new college graduate. Her only other teammate was her boss, Sol Kau.
“Even though we had just met, Sol would just tell me to do things I’d never done before as if there were no question I could get it done,” said Zefo. She was drafting a sales plan one day and signing up agents the next. “We set up a temporary order center over a Dairy Queen”, recalls Zefo. “I even took the order for Tom Selleck’s (Magnum PI) phone number myself since everyone desperately wanted that number.” Kau provided a cultural experience as well as a job experience, showing Zefo around the island to teach her how to pick fresh fish from the market and what a pineapple plantation looks like. “I left that job thinking I could do anything if I was willing to learn and work hard.” added Zefo.
Positivity through adversity.
Karen Glass, Founder and Creative Director, Product Development at Ø GLASS, a multi-use textile and design space.
Mentor: Rae Glass: The only woman in management in the Youngstown Hospital Association [denied entry into NASA as an aeronautical mathematician due to her gender).
"I learned to be strong and to experiment with life, to always do the best that I could."
Karen Glass decided to break from her traditional fashion and design background to focus on environmentally and socially conscious design methods and product development. She credits her aunt Rae Glass for the inspiration and leadership that led her to this decision.
Rae Glass was born the youngest of 10 children in Youngstown Ohio. According to Karen, her character as a tough, strong tomboy girl and independent woman was shaped by early years of playing hard, working hard and often, family crisis. During WWII at the age of 14, Rae lost her father to a heart attack and two weeks later, a brother in a plane crash (in the Army Air Corp). Rae was left at home alone with mother and became the defacto head of the Glass family. Years later when Karen lost her father (Rae’s brother), her aunt was there for her and her siblings.
“From Rae I learned to know the true meaning of gratitude in life,” said Karen. “She was always positive and thankful in the face of adversity.” Rae saw Karen's talent as an artist and designer to be a gift, that she encouraged throughout her life. She brought her on as projects as a creative “advisor”, entrusting her and guiding her through making things from stained glass windows to canvas boat covers.
“She had reverence for artistic talent and in turn gave me the confidence to pursue my own work as a creative in spite of the odds of artists and designer having successful financial careers,” said Karen.
Explore the options.
Cat Lincoln, CEO & Founder at CLEVER an influencer marketing agency
Mentee: Edita Rodriguez, Vice President of Client Services and Membership, CLEVER
“I made flexibility and agility a cornerstone of my mentoring and managing people.”
To Cat Lincoln, the best thing about managing is helping other people become managers themselves. As the second employee of CLEVER, the influencer marketing company Lincoln cofounded, Edita Rodriguez progressed from program project manager to a critical member of the leadership team. Along the way, Rodriquez would always surprise Lincoln by offering up a different, and often better, way to approach a problem.
This trait inspired Lincoln to recalibrate her management style from guiding people to what she thought was the right answer, to giving them the support to safely explore options. When asked a question in a problem solving setting she now always asks, “Well, what do you think?”
Lincoln thinks this makes her more resilient. “I remember that there is always another way to get things done, she said. “If the first way doesn’t work, just move on to plan B!”
Disclosure: Christina Vuleta is co-creator the 40 Women To Watch Over 40 list.
